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When you compare the size of a gummy worm versus a gummy bear, it starts to paint a horrific picture of the gummy universe.
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The first person to cook rice probably cooked way more rice than they expected.
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I'm stuck in south Korea's airport because of my son...
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It started out with a kiss how did it end up like this
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Winter is officially over and mosquitoes are like...
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What it looks like when I don't do my kid's laundry for a couple days...
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Me after having kids...
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I'D LIKE TO START THIS DAY WITH A SHOUTOUT TO MY KIDS. WITHOUT THEM, THERE WOULD NEVER BE THIS MUCH SHOUTING.
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Message for my trash man
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My kids when I tell then It's time for bed...
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No thanks. I'm trying to quit.
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When my joke is on point and I have to wait for my squad to settle down...
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THE TRAIN BRIDGE REMAINS UNDEFEATED!
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AFTER SPENDING ANY AMOUNT OF TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA, YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHY THEY NEED TO PRINT " DO NOT EAT " ON SILICA PACKETS!
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When you're comfortable in bed and you realize you forgot to turn off the light
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I'VE FINALLY FOUND THE PERFECT GYM WORKOUT FOR ME.
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This should be on every menu
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... and that's pretty much how I got kidnapped
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Spring 2018 is like...
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Me trying on my crop top from last summer... " Oh bother... "
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And that class is ... How to keep a woman happy.
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my body is my journal. my tattoos are my story
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When you get back together with your Ex, and your friend who helped through all his bullshit finds out.
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Me risking my job, career and future to get an extra 15 minutes of sleep
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Me after smelling a bottle and remembering everything i went through last time i drank
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It's a good idea to test your immune system from time to time, by eating a gas station hot dog.
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When someone steals your data... ZUCKERBERG
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To be honest, this is kinda freaking me out a little bit...
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