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I got 99 problems. You're 98 of them.
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A little bird told me it is going to be a beautiful day. I ate it.
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I would ask you to kill me now, but i fear not even death will destroy this memory.
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SMILES ARE CONTAGIOUS! DON'T WORRY I'M VACCINATED
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Twinkle, Twinkle little star I want to hit you with a car
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Behind every successful woman... is herself.
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I went trick or treating once it was awful
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Yeah I lost your number. It must have happened when i hit delete.
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You better watch out, you are going to cry. I'M COMING TO TOWN.
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How i feel when i been in the hot tub then realize i forgot dry underwear
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How I feel when I've been in the hot tub Then realize I forgot dry underwear.
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Bring me the coffee, then back away slowly
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No, your opinion is not valid here
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Heard the can opener. It was only green beans.
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How many people got trampled on Black Friday this year? Not Enough!
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If Wishes Would Come True I'd Wish To Be Adopted!!!
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FaceBook... (3) people unfriended you... GOOD
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I DON'T JUST BURN BRIDGES I DRAIN THE LAKE, FILL IT WITH CONCRETE & BUILD A SHOPPING MALL ON TOP OF THAT SUCKER
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BEAUTIFUL, SUNNY AND WARM SPRING DAYS I HATE THEM
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Grumpy Cat: CHASE YOUR DREAMS INTO A WOOD CHIPPER
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YOU KNOW WHAT'S GREAT ABOUT THE OUTDOORS? NOTHING
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THOSE CANDY CANES ARE MAKING YOU FATTER
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ZOMBIES EAT BRAINS... DON'T WORRY, MOST OF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT
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