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I called my boy.  Whatchoo goin do bout that spray water bottle now.
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Me being rescued after binge eating all my hurricane snacks
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" BEER IS MY COFFEE " EXCUSE MAN TELLS POLICE DURING DUI ARREST
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IS THIS THE LIVE ACTION OF... TOY STORY?
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When you get the munchies and need an emergency sandwich
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I enjoy romantic walks to the Taco Truck.
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Your car keys have traveled further than your car.
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Can't wait to drive slowly with my kids past McDonalds and tell them there's rice at home
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One of the many differences between cats and dogs.
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Cats on sheeps. That is all
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my dog made a huge mess and then had the audacity to just sit and chill while I cleaned up I mean LOOK AT HIS LITTLE ARM
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WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?! NEVER SEEN A CAT IN A CAR BEFORE?
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I have a real live shadow
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When you're a wildly successful art dealer and also a cat and life is good
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OH, HELLO THERE HANDSOME
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IF BEING SEXY WAS A CRIME I'D BE GUILTY AS CHARGED
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I DON'T ALWAYS LOOK AT YOU LIKE THIS.. BUT WHEN I DO.. I'M GUARANTEED TO GET TREATS!
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How I feel when someone eats my FOOD
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Sometimes I think my dog is plotting to kill me.
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Though i walk thru the shadow of death i fear no evil
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Day drinking is cool until you send a "you up" text at 8pm
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MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
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me ... last pringle in pringles can
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When he finally gives you the loops
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Thanks, but no thanks, Wendys.
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When you stand in the shortest checkout line but the one next to you is moving faster.
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When you come back to the group chat and someone's been getting roasted for past 30 mins
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When a new employee asks me just who I think I am, I'm like...
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