Will You Marry Me
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Just because I'm mad doesn't mean i stop caring
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Yes, honey. I'm still paying my life insurance premium.
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Happily ever after? Never heard of it
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The funny thing about a strong woman is that she doesn't need you -  She wants you and if your slacking she'll be content without you.
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Superwoman : Single ; Batwoman: Single; Wonderwoman: Single;  I get it now... I'm single because I'm a superhero.
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"I'm Single" because God is busy writing the best love story for me :)
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This could be us, but i hate running and you don't exist.
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My soulmate is out there somewhere,  pushing a pull door... I just know it.
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My wife is finally coming home from her week long trip, so you know what i'm getting tonight... yelled at. I'm gonna get yelled at.
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HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! THAT'S ME IN THE BACK
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For Sale By Owner Must sell lost job can't pay wife left took dog. House a gem except for asbestos. Best offer
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He stole my heart so i am planning revenge... I am going to take his last name
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Happy wife, happy life nothing rhymes with happy husband. Welcome to married life dumbass
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Stairway to my heart!
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Sure you can have "Boys night out" 32 messages, 41 missed calls, 20 voicemail.
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" Describe Your dream Wedding." ME:
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The real housewives of Alabama.
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DRIVING AROUND waiting on my wife to pick a place to eat.
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I LOVE YOU My beautiful wife.
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I told her i should shut off the internet for a while. She said, " Are you Satan?"
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Forget the dog Beware of the wife.
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My wife is so much better looking than me that a cashier just put a plastic divider down in the middle of our groceries.
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Go canoeing with your wife, they said nothing will go wrong they said
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A husband and wife had been arguing all day. There passed a herd of jackasses. Wife says, " Relatives of Yours?' Husband says, " Yep in laws."
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When you had a fight with your wife last night, but she still makes you lunch the next day.
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If the wife has $15.00 & You Have $10.00... How much Does The Wife Have?!!? She Has $25 Of Course!
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FIRE AWAY Just shoot me my wife wants more kids.
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Introduced my wife to Skyrim. Haven't had a sandwich in weeks.
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I told my husband that i would be ready in 5 minutes. It might  have taken a little longer than 5 minutes, but when i came out, i saw this.
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