If your cold, they're cold. Bring your husband inside.
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WHY SO SAD? It's only for the rest of your life!
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Love is beautiful.
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What if i told you you don't have to wait till the new year to change.
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Think you better get started on your new years's resolutions. So many improvements needed, and so little time.
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This year, i resolved to drink less and go to the gym. I made it to the gym.
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No matter how madly life treated you last year... This is a brand new year baby! Happy New Year!
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Christmas Group Therapy I don't believe in myself.I'm trapped in a dead-end job.
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I knocked down the Christmas tree
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The underside of whack-a-mole...
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Thought there was someone outside now I know
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When the dentist told you not to eat anything solid for 24 hours...
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The kind of mom I thought I'd be.. The kind of mom I actually am
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If you thought your WTF's couldn't get any more WTF-ier. Try having kids
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Rarely does an hour go by without me making at least one of these faces...
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Turns out this is a wine bottle holder. I won't tell you what my husband thought it was.
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My favorite part about this note, is that the guy still takes 15 minutes to do his business...
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THERE'S A VERY GOOD CHANCE THAT I'VE CALLED SOME OF THE WORST WONDERFUL PEOPLE IN THE WORLD...
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YOU KNOW YOU'RE THE SHIT WHEN PEOPLE THAT DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU, HATE YOU.
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Let's just say I'm going to know who keeps stealing the candy canes off the Christmas tree this year.
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When you get a new job a co-worker is showing you around....
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This is heartbreaking
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THE OLDER I GET THE MORE I FEEL LIKE CLARK GRISWOLD
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Never say anything in front of your kids. Those little freaks repeat everything!
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When what to my wondering eyes should appear...
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When you were on your way to Krypton, but you ended up in Komton.
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College kids are like...
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This took me longer than it should've to get...
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If I stay in bed I'll be warm...
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If I eat my poop, I'll never be hungry again!
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